The Brother's Uchiha
by ShurikenC
Summary: Sasuke and Itachi loved each other very much. They even helped each other with their love life and even helped cut each others hair. One-shot. Rated T for language


**A/N**: Okie dokie. Just to let you know this is **not an incest story**! There is no loving or kissing between either of them (bows deeply) Sorry! But its still a good story. I promise! I made it really funny. Now! Enough rambling...Read! Go! bam!

**Warning**: Language and Pranks...that is all!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto

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><p>Sasuke loved his big brother Itachi very very much…<p>

"Itachi! I hate you, you son of a bitch!" Uchiha Sasuke roared from somewhere in the Uchiha compound.

Itachi sat calmly in his room at his computer chair typing away at his laptop, a smirk tugged at the corner of his lips. He knew what was about to happen…

5…4…3…

His bedroom door was viciously swung open, the door knob leaving a big imprint on the side wall. Oh. This was a record. He didn't even have to get to one this time.

"What is it little brother?" Itachi said calmly, swinging his desk chair around to face his red faced younger brother. He noted how Sasuke was trembling in rage; his eye was ticking back and forth swiftly almost like he was having a seizure, and how he was clutching his I-phone in a death like grip. He could tell the screen was beginning to crack. Mother would not be happy to see that she would have to order another phone for him. Well, not like they didn't have the money for it anyway.

"Don't give me that shit Itachi!"

"I do not have to go to bathroom little brother so what are you talking about?" He inwardly chuckled as he noticed a throbbing vein beginning to form on his brother's neck.

"Why the hell did you send all those pictures of me around school? Do you know all the unwanted attention it gave me!" Sasuke stepped further into his room, slamming the door behind him. Uchiha Mikoto was real bitch when it came to them fighting.

"I saw nothing wrong with them. If you didn't notice you were wearing clothes." Itachi reached out on his desk and grabbed at his cup of coffee. He took a big sip, obsidian eyes rolling back in bliss. It was so good. If it was one thing he had to have every day it had to be a large steaming cup of coffee.

"Yeah but I was also dripping wet which made my clothes stick to my body. Not to mention it made them almost see through. Do you understand that almost every girl in school had a picture of me in their lockers? Some of them even went as far as to make key chains out of them!"

"Well you should have watched where you were walking when I was washing my car. It wasn't my fault that the water hose just so happened to be pointed toward you and the water started to spray out. I already had my camera on me so why wouldn't I want to take a picture of my little brother?"

"Bullshit!"

Itachi just mainly raised a brow in question.

"Since when do you wash your car?" Sasuke stepped closer to him only, a few feet away from his still perched form at his desk.

"Since you got me in trouble last week with father. Because of you he thinks I need therapy." Itachi placed the cup back on his desk, not realizing that he placed it beside his laptop.

"What the fuck ever you asshole! Don't worry. I will get you back for this." Sasuke threw his phone to the ground which was sure enough cracked all the way through.

With a roll of his eyes, Itachi finally stood up and walked into Sasuke's personal bubble. "I would love to see you try."

The brothers held a death glare for a few minutes until Sasuke's eyes shifted to the innocent looking cup of coffee sitting on the desk. He quickly smirked to himself making Itachi frown back.

Before the eldest Uchiha could even react, Sasuke's pale arm shot out and quickly tipped the cup over, knocking all of the _sweet goodness_ over his laptop key's. The once white keyboard was now stained brown, slowly starting to slip deeper into the device.

Itachi's eyes went wide then closed into dangerously slits as he watched his life be drained away before his very eyes. He had some very important assignments on it and now it was ruined. He'd lost his flash drive earlier in the week –courtesy of Sasuke- and now there was no way possible for him to back up any of his files. Not to mention he had a presentation that he had to give tomorrow for his Biology class.

"That was only part one you fucker!" Sasuke yelled from the hallway, a devious smirk on his lips.

He ran down the hallway almost knocking down the family butler in his sprint to his room.

The man, who went by the name of Kakashi, quickly held onto the bed sheets that he had balanced in his hands.

Letting out a sigh of relief, Kakashi readjusted his hold on the bundles and began to walk back towards the closet where all the other sheets were located at. But something made him stop in his tracks. It sounded like a wild animal breathing to itself. It wasn't until he noticed that it was coming from Itachi's room and from Itachi's mouth that made the veins in his body run cold. An upset Itachi meant that something bad was about to happen. The apocalypse maybe?

"Master Itachi. Is everything alright?" Kakashi asked the still immobile child from the hallway. His mind told him that it wouldn't be a good idea to step into his room right now. If he wanted to die that is.

Itachi spun around and put his attention on the silver headed male just a few feet from him.

"Oh! Everything is just peachy Kakashi but it might not be in a few hours." His words were choppy making him sound like a sadistic killer waiting to attack its prey. It made him look even more frightening when he gazed upon red eyes –a trait picked up by the Uchiha family- that almost bore into his soul.

"You wouldn't know where I could get some sort of torturing device would you?"

Kakashi sped on his heels down the hall before he was pulled into Sasuke's and Itachi's game again.

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><p>Their fights were never that bad in the past. At first it was only a simple push to the ground or a few trips down a small flight of stairs or name calling until one of them cried but it wasn't until they both got to High School till the pranks got worse.<p>

It was that one time when Sasuke put itching powder in Itachi's clothes when he went to an important conference meeting with his father. Throughout the whole meeting, Itachi was squirming in his seat and scratching at his skin. They had to cancel the meeting early on, on the count of the board members of the Uchiha law firm thought that Itachi had fleas of some kind. Itachi was bathed three times a day until he convinced his mother that everything was okay with him. Of course this ended with the two brothers fighting at the dinner table.

Oh! And it was that other time when Itachi changed Sasuke's license plate from XX5-SBSC to IHVESTD. That resulted with an angry and embarrassed Sasuke who proceeded to chase Itachi around their extensive front yard for an hour in said very car. It took a panting Kakashi and three other house workers to set up a blockade in front of Sasuke's line of vision so he wouldn't hit Itachi. But as soon as he got out of his car he proceeded to chase Itachi around the Uchiha mansion with his licsence plate –that he somehow ripped off- while shouting 'You bastard!' at the top of his lungs.

Not to mention when Sasuke rigged Itachi's shampoo bottle by adding pink hair dye in it. The eldest Uchiha had to walk around for a whole week before the color actually came out. He had spent so much money at the hair salon and not to mention washing his own hair at that it made his once silky tresses stiff and fragile. Itachi wouldn't leave the house until his 'precious hair' was back to normal and all of Sasuke's clothes were fully drenched in bleach.

Or! When the Uchiha men ventured out to the local mall to find Mikoto a birthday present. Itachi found that it would be a good idea to stuff a very expensive bracelet into Sasuke's back pocket so when they stepped out the store, the alarms went off followed by two big burly men leading Sasuke into one of the back rooms where he was questioned for nearly two hours. Itachi just gave a small wave to his little brother as Sasuke thought of different ways to kill a sibling with the hand cuffs he was wearing.

But the prank waiting for the both of them the next day was none like no other…

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><p>Sasuke sat quietly outside with one of his friend's Shikamaru during lunch hour. It was a nice warm day. It wasn't too hot or too cold. There weren't a lot of people near him since the whole picture fiasco was beginning to fade away.<p>

Sasuke breathed out in bliss. It was going to be a good day today. He knew it. He popped another tomato in his mouth, frowning a little at the taste. They were probably going bad but he didn't care. He was hungry.

"So what did you and Itachi get into this time?" Shikamaru asked from beside him. The lazy teen was sprawled out on the grass staring up into the sky. A tree branch was blocking out the sun making him relax even further.

"I tipped his coffee over and fucked up his computer."

"Didn't you flush his flash drive down the toilet as well?"

"Yep."

"So he's probably going to get his first B now won't he?"

"Yep."

"Your fucked." Shikamaru simply stated.

"Hn. He won't do anything to me. The bastard was so upset last night about his computer being busted that he didn't even come down stairs for dinner. I bet he was up all night trying to get his homework redone."

"Whatever you say."

The two chatted for a few more minutes until a shadow appeared in front of them. Sasuke stopped in mid-bite of placing another tomato in his mouth as he stared at the person in front of him. His heart immediately began to speed up.

"What's up Naruto?" Shikamaru spoke, his eyes still gazing at the sky, a slight yawn seeping out his mouth.

"Hey." Naruto said back.

The two exchanged comments while Sasuke sat in silence. He wanted to say hi to the blonde as well but his throat suddenly constricted together making no sound escape. Not to mention it was feeling begining to feel a little scratchy.

"Hey Sasuke. Can I talk to you for a minute?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke dumbly nodded and placed his bowl of tomatos to the side as he followed the blonde haired teen away from Shikamaru.

This couldn't be happening! What could Naruto want with him?

Sasuke wiped his sweaty hands over his jeans and continued to the follow the blonde until they stopped near the senior courtyard.

Naruto was a senior while Sasuke was only a junior. The raven had been secretly watching the blonde since he was in his freshman year but he was too afraid to do anything. Yes. The almighty Sasuke had a crush on someone but was too scared to make a move. Even though he was an Uchiha he still had his vulnerabilities.

"So anyway, what's your answer?"

Sasuke stiffened once he realized he wasn't paying attention. Fuck!

"Uh. Sorry, what did you say?"

His cheeks heated up when Naruto let out a deep chuckle.

"Well instead of repeating myself again why don't I just show you?"

A tanned finger was placed at the tip of his chin, raising his head up making cobalt eyes lock with obsidian.

Obsidian eyes widened once he realized what was about to happen. Naruto was going to kiss him! He couldn't fuck this up! He couldn't show Naruto that he was inexperienced. Shaking off his nerves, Sasuke raised his head further up only to stop when a sudden pain shot through his stomach.

He winced as he doubled over slightly.

"You okay?" Naruto asked with concern in his voice.

"Y-y-eah I'm f-fine."

"You don't look fine to me."

"It's o-o-kay. Nothing to w-worry abo-" He quickly clasped a hand over his mouth, feeling the urge to puke coming over him.

Why was his stomach starting to churn? The only thing he had was those tomato's that he was eating.? So where could it have came…from…

This reeked of only one thing. One person actually. The asshole must have put something on his food making his stomach feel like it was going to explode. Ohhhhh…he was going to pay!

"Sasuke?"

Sasuke gave Naruto a shaky smile before he bent over and emptied his stomach not only on the grass but on the blonde's shoes as well.

Itachi bathed in the praise he was getting from his fellow classmates after he finished his presentation. Not only was he happy that he completed his project but he was also happy because he knew that Sasuke was embarrassing himself at that very moment.

Oh what a couple of drops of peanut oil- which Sasuke was allergic to- and a fake letter to a Naruto Uzumaki could do.

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><p>"How did you do on your biology presentation?" Kakashi asked as he put a together a serving tray. The head of the Uchiha family had a very important business partner with him in his office so Kakashi had to make sure everything was in order. If the meeting went perfectly then the Uchiha's would be even richer. Oh what joy.<p>

"It went well." Itachi said, grabbing at his coffee mug, long pale fingers wrapping around it. "My photographic memory saved me since Sasuke destroyed my computer."

"He destroyed your computer?" Kakashi grabbed at a china pot and filled it with Fugaku's favorite tea. "How did he destroy your computer?"

"I'd rather not say." The raven stood up from his chair, placing his now empty mug on the counter. "I got homework to do." Itachi called over his shoulder as he began to walk out the kitchen.

"Would you like me to go and get you more coffee?"

"Hn."

Understanding that simple grunt as a 'yes', Kakashi finished gathering all the things on the serving tray, and then made his way out of the room.

As he was about to turn the corner, a hand was suddenly placed on the end of the trolley making him stop his tracks. His eyes fell upon the littlest Uchiha who was clutching at his stomach with a sadistic grin on his face.

"Kakashi, may I have a word with you?" Sasuke tipped his head to the side and gave him a creepy smile.

The silver headed butler gulped loudly knowing what was coming next.

"Of course master Sasuke." He couldn't help how his hand started to tremble against the handle of the trolley.

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><p>Itachi had just finished his last homework assignment when there was a knock on his door. With a quick come in, his door was swung open.<p>

"Here's your drink." Kakashi stated as he handed Itachi his cup. He saw how the eldest son's eyes lit up when he grabbed it.

"Thank you."

But before he could marvel in the bitter taste Kakashi stopped him in his tracks.

"Has it ever crossed your mind to not to drink coffee so much. I heard that it can visibly damage your teeth."

"I have regular checkups with my dentist every three months." Itachi responded back lifting the cup back up to his lips, only to be stopped once again.

"I've also heard about how it can damage ones heart."

"My health is fine." He bit out.

Itachi was finally able to take a sip but before he could even bask in the delectable flavor, a gentle hand was placed on his wrist.

"Uhm…uh…it could give you bad breath?"

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><p>Scared for his life, Kakashi quickly ran out of Itachi's room, closing the door behind him. After he was a good distance away, he leaned against the wall to catch his breath.<p>

He felt a presence materialize beside him. He didn't even have to open his eyes to know who it was.

"Please don't ever have me do that again." He breathed out, opening his eyes only to spot Sasuke. "I have never seen your brother like that before. I might actually have nightmares tonight…again."

"Did everything go as planned?"

"Yes."

"Did he suspect anything?"

"No, not at all."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow that made Kakashi sigh.

"He'll be screwed in about an thirty minutes."

Smiling sadistically, Sasuke trotted away from the shaken butler, whistling a tune that only he knew.

Kakashi just hoped that Itachi had heeded his warning.

Itachi brushed off the feeling that something was wrong when he started to feel drowsy around five o'clock. He knew he had been working a lot for the whole week so he allowed his body to relax as he slowly dowsed off at his desk. But whatever. A little nap never hurt him. His body needed to rest every once and while since he was up all night working on his project.

His bedroom door was quietly opened thirty minutes later. The person that entered slowly walked up to the sleeping raven as they placed their hands on his hair, slowly running there fingers through his tresses. Itachi had such pretty hair.

The person smirked darkly as they released the hair tie that was holding his hair together, making his black silky locks cascade over his shoulder and down his back.

They continued to run their fingers through it as another hand was raised up.

A silent _swisp swisp_ was heard through the room.

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><p>It was some time later when a gentle hand was placed the eldest Uchiha's shoulder. It was kind and gentle and he automatically knew who it was.<p>

"What is it mother?" He mumbled out sleepily, his head still rested on his arms.

"It's time for dinner Itachi." Mikoto said back warmly.

"Yes mother." Itachi groaned a little bit as he sat up, stretching his arms over his head to get the feeling back in them. His back cracked a little making him cringe.

"Itachi!"

Blinking his tired eyes, he turned towards his mother. "Yes?"

"Your hair!"

"What about it?"

"When did you cut it?"

"What do you mean when did I cut it?" Itachi reached up to touch the nape of his neck only to feel…well…nothing.

His blood ran cold.

What. The. Fuck.

Itachi quickly ran into his private bathroom and switched on the light. Once his eyes adjusted to the brightness, he couldn't help the sudden heartache that pierced through him. His hair. His beautiful hair was gone. Well, there was still some there but it was short. _Really_ short. It was shorter then Sasuke's. He reached up to touch it but his hand quickly shied away from it like it would get burned if he touched it.

To the left of his mirror was a single note and attached to the note was a part of his hair hanging from the bottom of it. A lonely pair of scissors were sitting innocently on the counter.

The note was simple…

_Here lies Uchiha Itachi's hair_

_R.I.P. _

_From your loving younger brother_

_P.S._

_Your a piece of shit..._

It was at that moment that Mikoto walked into the bathroom and looked at the note as well. She clasped a hand over her mouth in shock. But her shock was soon short lived when Itachi started to visibly shake. His hands were clenched so tightly that blood was beginning to seep out of his palms.

This…this…was bad.

Mikoto swallowed and placed a gentle hand on her son's shoulder. "Now Itachi. Let's not think too rash now. I'm pretty sure your hair will grow back fairly qui-"

Before she could finish her sentence, Itachi grabbed at the scissors then ran out the bathroom with eyes blazed red.

"SASUKE!"

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><p>"Was that your brother that I just heard screaming?" Shikamaru asked the raven from his side of the phone.<p>

"Why yes it was." Sasuke smirked, jumping off his bed. He rolled his neck and let out a deep breath. "I'll have to end this phone call early on the count of me having to run for my life. You think your parents would mind if I stayed with you for a couple of months?"

"See I told you, you were fucked. You actually cut his hair?"

"Hn." Sasuke grunted, ending the phone call, placing his new phone on the end of his bed.

He walked over to his door, opened it, and looked to his left. He immediatley spotted his big brother making a deadly dash to his room. If he calculated correctly, Itachi would be at his door in about 10 seconds. That was enough time to make his escape.

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><p>"As I was saying Midori-sama. I think that joining with the Uchiha Corparation would not be good not only for my company but yours as well. We could both trip-<p>

"_Sasuke you little shit!"_

"_Watch your language Itachi!"_

_A loud chuckle._

_Thumping footsteps coming down the hall._

"-le our salaries and-

"_Your hair looks like shit big brother. I wonder who did it?"_

"_Your about to find out once I wipe you out from existence!"_

"_Sasuke! Itachi! I just told you two to stop using that language! And keep your voice down! Your father is in a very important meeting!_

"If you'll excuse me." Fugaku asked, bowing his head in forgiveness to his guest in his office.

"Oh! Of course." Midori stammered out.

With a small smile Fugaku excused himself as he walked to the door and opened it. He couldn't help the sigh that escaped his lips. Sasuke was being chased down the hallway by a red faced Itachi. Standing against the far wall was his wife and Kakashi. Fugaku cut his eyes at the both of them but they could only shrug back turning the heads away to the witness the scene before them.

If it was three things he told his son's to never do it was...

One...Never run in the house.

Two...Never use foul language.

And Three...To never run with a pair of scissors in their hands.

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><p>(laughs) Oh I crack myself up!<p>

**Review Please and Thank you!**


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